Beware of the Breadcrumbers

If you’re anything like myself I didn’t know what a “breadcrumber” was until I was discussing what happened to me with a friend. I chose to start speaking to someone from my past. I know you’re thinking why didn’t you leave the past in the past, right? Yeah, I don’t know but I’m the type that doesn’t like to have too many regrets. So, whether you’re trying to relearn someone again or just curious, here’s why you should be aware of the breadcrumbers.

 

We all know the story of Hanzel and Gretel where they take slices of bread and leave “bread crumbs” for them to follow back home. In this case, Breadcrumbing is when someone is not too interested in a friendship/relationship but continues to lead someone on. It’s similar to this generations term “ghosting.” The only difference is the breadcrumber “checks in”  about once or twice a week; whereas, a “ghoster”can disappear for months or years at a time and then come back. The breadcrumber will send random messages at all hours or the night and then don’t answer for a week(s).

Here’s an example of a Breadcrumber:

You’re flirting back and forward with them for weeks (consistent) then nothing for weeks. Then, you receive a text, “Hey, how are you?”

Or someone who just sends you a random text at midnight that has absolutely no significance just so that they can pop back into your thoughts.

 

Here’s how to spot them and RUN if you need to:

They make excuses

Sometimes breadcrumbers will give you an excuse saying they were too busy or they forgot to text back. Nobody is that busy to text back after weeks no matter what is said. An excuse is an excuse. Let them loose.

They haven’t answered you but like a picture on Facebook

This example is completely comical and beyond immature but hey, I’ve heard of people doing this. This is the ultimate lazy friendship. Let them loose.

Wondering what you did wrong

After you’ve texted them back, they aren’t answering, you’re wondering if what you said was wrong. It’s never anything you said or did wrong. Let them loose.

The moral of the story is that people can get busy, right? We’re adults but someone is never too busy to be consistent with you EVER. We all forget to text back sometimes but we then remember especially when we’re trying to get to know someone. The person whose breadcrumbing could be talking to multiple people, still not past another relationship, or just adulting. Whatever the reason, you don’t need to make excuses for them or even accept their game, move on. Because hey, we ALL deserve to have feelings whether relational or platonic reciprocated.

 

Next time they need an ego boost hit them with, “I’m good love, enjoy” or don’t respond at all. 😉