I remember being on a playground as child, and getting into a fight with my best friend. The next day, I went to school, and she didn’t want to hang out with me any longer and had a new best friend. That feeling was horrible. It was a betrayal. It’s funny to think how naive we are as children, but then that was considered real betrayal. As an adult to experience betrayal from a husband, friend, or other family member can be life changing. How do you rid the pain of betrayal? I wish I had the answer to that, but don’t. I’m just learning how to live with it.
Don’t accept the blame
When others have betrayed you, they’ll blame you for everything. You’re the one that caused them to betray you. Don’t accept this. This may sound like it’s easy not to do, but it’s not. It’s a viscous cycle, and it becomes easy to accept that it’s you. “You caused someone else to betray your trust.” No, this is what weak-minded people do. They place the blame where responsibility is supposed to be taken. Don’t fall for it. You aren’t to blame for what someone else did to you.
It’s a process
You’ll be disappointed, mad, hurt, happy (yes, you can be happy) during this time. It’s the craziest process ever, and you’ll experience every emotion there is, and that’s okay. It’s all apart of the betrayal process. It might take a while for you to accept that you have to go through the complete process in order to get out. That is the annoying part. You have to feel every emotion in order to move forward. Accept it. And move on each day. Because it does get easier even if it feels like it doesn’t. Allow yourself to experience self-pity, but don’t remain there.
Forgiveness
I hate this part. lol No seriously, I do. Why do I have to forgive someone who betrayed me? Well, you don’t. You really don’t at all. Yet not forgiving is giving them more power. This sounds so cliche- but forgiveness is for your own healing. The one that betrayed you won’t necessarily care if you forgive them or not, but hanging onto bitterness won’t get you better.
Have you ever experienced betrayal in your life? Let me know in the comments how you overcame it. Let’s help each other heal.
Kineatra Jones, MS founder & editor of NaturallyNex.com. She has a passion for educating women on all things natural: hair, beauty, and life. NaturallyNex.com was created in August 2015 to share and connect with women who have a passion for natural hair and beauty. Overtime NaturallyNex has evolved into a beauty, lifestyle, and entertainment blog. Kineatra is focused on discussing natural hair, beauty, fashion, and travel as well as providing encouragement to others.
I cannot stress how much I needed to hear this right now! And I just realized it was you giving these AMAZING words of wisdom. Thank you so much.
Aww! So glad I could help! Thank you for reading <3 <3 Keep hanging in there! 🙂
Yes!! Betrayal is inevitable but it’s all about how we deal with it. When we come out on the other side, we are that much more wiser and stronger. Thanks for sharing this post!! 😘😘
Stronger and wiser for sure 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve definitely experienced betrayal. Being committed to someone for so long and watching them just walk away from you is one of the hardest pills to swallow. I didn’t know how to get past it, I looked at my kids like…how can I give them the life I promised God that I would provide for His little angels? Fear, hurt, anger, frustration all ran their courses and one day I realized that he did me a favor. I couldn’t be my best self with him. I made that promise to God, but it’s not to say that he did the same. I had to learn to shift my negative feelings into a more positive realm. See, I would have never achieved my career goals, my life goals, my parental goals with him because I was so engaged with bringing him up that I let myself down. His betrayal was the best thing that ever happened to me. I forgave him a long time ago, now I’m thankful for the journey that was forced upon me…I would never have experienced THIS life had I travelled a different road.
Thank you so much for sharing Lakiesha. Definitely had a similar experience and the same emotions. I’m in that place now where I feel like he did me a favor as well. Thank God for that. Be blessed because you sound like you already are. <3